{"product_id":"too-tired-to-function-t-shirt-coffee-alarm-clock-retro-illustration","title":"Surreal Exhaustion T-Shirt | Weirdcore \"Too Tired to Function\" Graphic Tee | Heavyweight Retro Coffee Apparel","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe alarm rings. You are still dreaming.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMentally gone, physically here. This relaxed, garment-dyed cotton tee wears like an artifact from a forgotten, much cozier timeline. As documented in \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eimage_4.png\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e, the intricate, hand-drawn front art reads “Too Tired to Function,” surrounded by the chaotic totems of modern exhaustion: iced coffee, a ringing alarm clock, hopelessly tangled wires, and a wilting houseplant.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt speaks the language of endless mornings, late-night static, and gentle dissociation. The heavyweight 100% ring-spun cotton and garment-dyed finish give it a soft, broken-in feel and a muted, lived-in color that complements the retro illustration. Wear it to slow mornings with a warm mug, long study sessions in liminal spaces, or lazy weekends when caffeine is required and reality is strictly optional.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e🛸 Artifact Properties (Product Features)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEarthly Material:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Crafted from 100% ring-spun US cotton for durable comfort across multiple lifetimes.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWeight of Reality:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Heavyweight 6.1 oz fabric provides a grounding, relaxed fit to help tether you to this dimension.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTemporal Dye:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Garment-dyed construction offers a uniquely soft texture and muted, nostalgic color from the moment you put it on.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSeamless Void:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Features a tubular knit (no side seams) and double-needle stitching to ensure lasting shape and structural integrity.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eVessel Accommodations:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Pre-shrunk and available in sizes S–4XL (via selected partners), featuring a sewn-in label.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e🌌 Preservation Protocol (Care Instructions)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTo keep this artifact intact through your daily loops, please follow these earthly rituals:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWash:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Machine wash cold (max 30°C or 90°F) to preserve the temporal fibers.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBleach:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Do not bleach. Embrace the fatigue.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDry:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Tumble dry on low heat.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIron:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Iron, steam, or dry on low heat only. Do not attempt to iron out your existential dread.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDryclean:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Do not dryclean.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIncludes: 1 Comfort Colors t-shirt with Too Tired to Function design.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":50322475974908,"sku":"42734180857860943910","price":31.92,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":50322476269820,"sku":"47397276630996197595","price":31.92,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":50322476564732,"sku":"91193852619613705147","price":31.92,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 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